Que será, será…

Two days before Christmas I was on the highway, driving my car, heading home. I had left the hospital few hours before, after a 24h shift that I tried to change, anticipating a more or less sleepy 500 Km drive in a winter road. Since the change was not possible, I filled the car deposit with fluid and my own with caffeine (one needs to run on something…) and hit the road, driving and singing.

At some point, the accelerator just wouldn’t work. First things first, and since I was driving high speed (no numbers, it might have been above the speed limit… 🙄), I tested the break. Break ok, pull over, turn engine off and it just wouldn’t start again.

Since it’s not a joyful situation, i’d be only normal if i felt somehow distressed. But when the car assistance came, i was just bursting with tears… of laughter. I couldn’t help but find it really funny how life works: trying to control the sleep problem, only to find myself in the middle of the highway with a broken engine.

This lack of control on things makes me feel free, excited… Less responsible, somehow, even. It makes me wake up with bright curious eyes.

But for the last couple of days, i’ve been struggling with it. There are some really important professional issues that i have no control on. I lost my temper – which is unusual. I still feel i’m capable of being the best version of myself for everybody else most of the time – but it’s been harder lately to be the best version of myself for me.

I know what i need to do. It’s all clear in my head. I just need that leap of faith and the moment just never seems to be the right one. But courage will come my way and this 2 particular obstacles i have with myself will be eventually be overcome. (A trip at this point would definitely help…)

I have no Superpower… I’m just a regular person. But at times i feel this amazing faith on… On what’s meant to be. And i do truly believe somethings are just meant to be. So… In time, they will happen. And the road ahead will be even more extraordinary.

Like the rocks in the sand, we too will find our way to the sea. If we’re meant to be…

 

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6 thoughts on “Que será, será…

  1. I really loved this post!

    “This lack of control on things makes me feel free, excited… Less responsible, somehow, even. It makes me wake up with bright curious eyes.”

    …It kind of inspired me to laugh a bit more too …to not try to be always in control of a situation. Lately I feel as if the world is collapsing around me and I’m in a constant state of alert, trying to catch the pieces before that hit the ground.

    Good luck in your ” leap of faith”. 🙂

    Like

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