Something broke inside of her.
I saw it in her eyes and in her slimmer face while she efficiently managed the wood sticks around the sashimi we ordered. There was no sadness in it, thought. Like a rainy coat, she just became water proof to all of it.
They used to be lovers. That kind of free, happy, with no commitments kind of love that everybody deserves to feel at least once in a lifetime.
“We didn’t meet, we collided“, she’d say in the every now and thens when the wildfire burned her just a little too much.
It wouldn’t last. It couldn’t. When she realized that, I saw her struggling the biggest battle. There were no regrets, no angry. Just that pure deep sadness of someone who knows that the best ever lived was coming to an end. As it should.
It did. And she just drowned it deep inside of her.
This love was the loneliest thing I’ve ever lived – those were her only words about it. For no one she knew, myself included, understood that feeling. And knowing that you only live that sort of extraordinary thing once in your lifetime… That, that is what makes you understand you’ll always walk alone afterwards. Even if you fall in love for someone. This was something else – she concluded.
The fire, thought,… It became an everlasting gaze.
But not today. Deep it her eyes there’s a freedom she never wore before. A firmness and a purpose, as if she’s focused on nothing but running her own Marathon.
– How do you feel?
– You seem peaceful thought….
– I’m capable of facing my feelings better than ever before. But there’s a fearlessness in having no bounds that detaches me from everything else.
We pay our bill. I walk her to her car.