There’s a light that never goes out…


The last few weeks were rough and by the beginning of this week I was almost desperate. I felt trapped, stuck even.

P came along on Thursday, the day I started healing. We talked endlessly, as always. She was a critic, as always. At some point she told me “if you’re going to war, I just want you to be smart about it”.

Friday I had an overloaded work morning. The feeling of being trapped, the claustrophoby, was tremendous. I’m used to do what I want – work included – so feeling that I was there because I had to was a new unpleasant feeling. Having a snack with friends and talking to V. helped me out of it, but the true lift up was the work in itself. The shy smile☺️ when R’s father thanked me, the warm in my heart when M. jumped from her mother’s lap to hug me!!!! 💓, the huge T’s eyes before I took him to the ER.

Saturday morning I was like shinning out from the hospital and the weekend was amazing. There was a lunch and a brunch; I danced like hell. I bought something for myself – and knowing I’ve wanted it for a while now but I waited for the right time showed me how I’m dealing so much better with my impatient self.

There was a huuuuggeeee tables turn in my life these days. Life flows, things change… And the right things, the right persons… They flow the same way. But this time I was the one floating away. That certain harbor is just a small indifferent point in the horizon right now.  And I don’t even feel like I’m leaving anything behind, but somehow I know the harbor just lost it’s best sailor. I only leave once, so this is where the story ends.

But the best thing was waking up today, with the Yellow sunrays in my face, knowing that, despite the storms, I’m nevertheless one step closer to the person and the surgeon I want to be.

(This picture is a detail from a street art work I photographed before. I picked it randomly because I wanted to have a picture from this day and only later I understood the meaning of the Latin words on it: “I Shall either find a way or make one”. Serendipity, don’t you think? From now on i’ll always see it differently… And that’s my Repurpose. If you google the latin expression, you’ll realise how much(Un) Conventional Wisdom i found on it…).

Advertisements

One thought on “There’s a light that never goes out…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s