The past few weeks have been all about just living.
I came back from England wishing not to. As much as i love what i do, at some point residency is just like having a kid: we love it, our life is build around it and we wouldn’t change it for anything else. But boy, isn’t it a prison….
And that’s a change.
I’m here now because it’s where i need to be, but having no boundaries made this one somehow heavier lately. It’s like there’s this other person, the backpacker, storyteller, detached me that i’ll always miss in my everyday life – and to whom i’d like to give more space to live.
So every time i’m off work i get to deal with the fact that i wish i was elsewhere; i’ve lived here too long and i had decided to leave before residency started.
But i’m here now. I keep bumping into sentences and songs that talk about something bigger than ourselves. I keep pushing somethings aside. I don’t know if i’m different and some feelings changed or if i just got better at forgetting them.
And if i decided to bury some feelings and missings, i ‘d better just enjoy my life with no Controversy. Things are what they are. We make our choices and decisions. We chose our path. We’ll always leave something aside. Knowing that, being aware of it, doesn’t change a thing.
We just keep on living.